TallSingles.co.uk | Witty Comebacks to Height Comments

Witty Comebacks to Height Comments

by richard 30. January 2014 18:01
Tall woman

We've all been there. You're at a party, in the office, or just minding your own business in the shops, and somebody (normally a shorty) and thinks they have the wittiest wisecrack about your height ever. Like you haven't heard the same gags a million times. Have you ever wondered what to say in such a situation? Well, wonder no more, because (behold) we have the most comprehensive list of witty comebacks to height wisecracks you'll ever see. Just memorise a few of these gems and you'll wipe the smug smile off shorty's face in no time!

How tall are you?

"Don't worry, hon' ... just as soon as you hit puberty, you'll start to grow, too"

“I'm the kind of woman that you can put up on a pedestal without having to go out and buy a pedestal!”

“I'm the only woman I know who really gets her money's worth when I buy a pair of jeans!"

"6 foot and worth the climb."

"5'6" and you should see their faces!!"

"I don't know, how much do you weigh?"

"Sorry for your bad luck"

"Why are you short enough to use as an armrest?"

"Tall enough to see your bald spot".

"Oh no! I didn’t realise when did that happen?!"

"I'm the number of days in the year minus the fourth prime number divided by two plus the square route of 64 - in centimetres”

"Tall enough to see you have grey hairs!"

“Tall enough to see you need your roots done!”

"Tall enough for you to be my deodorant checker!"

“Tall enough for me to know you have a bad dandruff issue!”

"I'm tall are you serious? or stupid? I guess the shorter you are the dumber you are. Hey thanks for proving my point (or hypothesis)!"

“I'm not that tall it’s all done with mirrors”

"Not that tall, I'm actually average height"

I'll bring my palm to the top of my head and say, "Oh, about THIS tall." That shuts them up every time!

"No, but you are so short - are you a jockey?"

"This way, it's easier for you to kiss my ass."

"Get up off your knees then so we can talk face to face! Oh no your already standing ... shame"

How’s the weather up there?

"A little thin but I've gotten used to it"

"Oh, I don't know. Would you like me to pick you up so you can see for yourself?"

"There's a telephone in my pocket, call up and find out!"

"I don't know. What's it like down there?"

"Great, there's no short people polluting it"

"Good for me, but I have gas so I bet it's windy where you are."

"My knees feel wet, are you getting rain?"

"It's clear up here. Are you getting snow or is that dandruff?"

Do you play basketball?

“No, do you play miniature golf?”

"I use to until I got tired of tripping over the cheerleaders."

"Sure did, Colorado State University."

“No, I am a midget wrestler!"

"No, but you are so short - are you a jockey?"

"Why? Do you want to play?”

Are your parents tall?

"My parents are circus midgets!"

Is your dad tall?

"I don't know, he married the next door neighbor after having a three year affair with her, I was only six so I can't quite recall how tall he is

How did you get so tall?

"My dad used miracle grow"

"The bigger they are the harder they fall." I just reply: "That's okay. There are always plenty of short people to land on."

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