TallSingles.co.uk | When it’s ok to say “No” in a relationship

When it’s ok to say “No” in a relationship

by richard 29. November 2015 09:00

When you’re in a relationship “No” really is a magic word.  There are two fears associated with the word “No”, they are:

#1. Hearing “No”

#2. Saying “No”

These are usually spoken at the end of a relationship hence why people don’t like it.

Why it’s important to be able to say “No”

It’s very important to be able to say “No”, the ability to give and receive a graceful “no” is essential for dating success. Believe it or not, being able to do this puts you at ease, makes you more confident and lets you engage with people as your most authentic self.

Imagine the scene you are in a relationship with someone, things were strong at the start but you can tell things are drifting apart.  The other person has actually fallen out of love with you and knows they have but can’t bring themselves to tell you.

This continues for a year, now that might seem like a long time but it really does happen.  Just think there for a second, that’s a full year in a relationship going nowhere just because you couldn’t face the “no”.

How to say “no”

You need to be tactful and understand that it is probably going to really hurt the other person. Sometimes the message can be confused so really think about the reason. Be as honest as you can be. Although you know it will hurt, you can’t worry about them getting very upset, that is natural. Your only job is to deliver the rejection gracefully and respectfully. Practise saying it out loud until it feels natural.

It might sound something like ….

“Thank you for letting me get to know you. Unfortunately I have come to realise that we are not a good match” or

“I’ve enjoyed speaking with you, but I’m not feeling the potential for a romantic connection”

How to take a “no”

If you’re not expecting it, then “yes” it will hurt.

But deep down, you surely know as in the example above that it is better to hear that “no” now than say a year down the line.  Do you really want to be in an unhappy relationship for a year? Also it is difficult to say “no” so don’t think you’re the only one having a tough time.

You can now move on. You’re free of that relationship.

From this we can learn two great things:

#1. Dating is a numbers game.  You don’t win if you don’t play.

#2. Every “no” you give and receive is also a “yes” to what you really want.

So embrace the word “no”, trust me it will help with your dating!

 

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Communication

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