TallSingles.co.uk | It has been a long time since I dated before, how does it work again?

It has been a long time since I dated before, how does it work again?

by richard 14. May 2016 07:00

Well really the dating way to date hasn't changed, basically its boy meets girl, both boy and girl like each other they start to date.  Fairly simple eh!  But really its the ways in which boy meets girl that has changed.

But before we get into that, if you have just finished in a long term relationship you need to give yourself time to get over it. It can be almost frightening to be single again, you have relied for so long on another person to meet certain emotional, practical and financial needs.

But now your on your own it is time to look at how liberating it can be and also you come to realise that you are able to deal with life on your own. You do have the skills, the knowledge and the know-how to cope, you can take this into your next relationship.  You are ready to date again when you are motivated to share your life with someone special, as opposed to feeling like you need someone to rescue you.

So what might have changed since you were last dating?

#1. Welcome to online dating

Well depending on how long your relationship lasted, online dating might not have been around previously, or if it was you might not have used it.  Well it is here now! So why not give it a go?  There are some steps you will want to take to make sure you join the right site.  Check out the guide we wrote on that HERE.

#2. Build self confidence

We have talked about self confidence a great deal on this blog. Basically you need self confidence and self esteem in order to be attractive to the opposite sex.  Breaking up from a long term relationship, especially if it wasn't your choice can put a serious dent in your self-esteem.

You really need to build your self-esteem by telling yourself that the break up wasn't your fault, it really isn't anybody's fault its just that sometimes things aren't meant to be. So you need to remember that you have some great qualities that another person will love, move on and find love again.

#3. Appearance

When your in a long-term relationship, your appearance can suffer. You may wear jeans that are past their best since you have met the person of your dreams and you no longer need to impress, same goes for 4 year old shirts and those shoes that could do with a polish. Plus 

women tend to not apply make up so regularly.

After a break up, you literally need to smarten up! Get some new clothes in the wardrobe, put the make-up on, polish those shoes and feel good about yourself. Dress to impress. Show you care about the way you look.

#4. Contemplating a physical relationship with someone new.

This can be very daunting as for a long time you will have been with the same person in a physical relationship.  Nerves are bound to be there.  But you will naturally overcome this and once you get excited about a new relationship you will wonder why you were ever worried in the first place.

#5. The biological clock

Yes the biological clock will have moved on somewhat, but don’t stress about it. There is nothing you can do about that fact. We believe the media does overplay the difficulty in having a baby later on in life. Some people let this fear guide their decisions about relationships.  But nobody likes to think of themselves as just baby making machines, do they? So try to concentrate on the way that your partner makes you feel, rather than whether they can produce offspring as soon as possible.

#6. Children

You may of course have children now, or you may well be meeting other people who have children. Don’t let that worry you. You are still dating the adult in the relationship, not the children. For the first few dates, just make it you and them and leave the children out of it. As you get to know one another more, you can then think about introducing the children to your new partner.

What is slightly more of a challenge is if you don't have kids but the person you have just met does. Then you need to consider if you want to be part of that family unit. Going from not being a parent to suddenly becoming one can be very daunting, so think carefully.

#7. Maintaining the relationship

Some people worry that they are just not good at being in a relationship.  Now think back to that last relationship. Did you have fun times? Almost certainly you did. Therefore you can’t say you are no good at relationships. Don’t dwell on the past look forward to the future. Get out there meet someone great and move on!

 

Are you tall and single?  Why don’t you consider joining tallsingles.co.uk?  We are free to join.  A small fee is payable if you decide to make contact with other members, this covers our costs of running the site.  With 1.5 million members all across the UK so there is bound to be someone near you.  Plus we are 43% cheaper than the UK’s best known dating site Match.com*. To become part of the Tall Single community click HERE now.

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Dating

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